Nintendo’s Slapstick Homebrew Battle Makes Us All Suffer

leave it alone, Nintendo.

These days, the glowing blue light on my Wii console can only mean one thing: Nintendo has taken another futile stab at the Homebrew community and masked it as some crappy Wii Menu Update. What is it this time, Nintendo? Did you change the color of a button? Change the spacing of the channels by 5 pixels? What nonsense are you forcing me to download this time?

More after the jump.

I friggin’ love Nintendo. I love my Wii. I love WiiWare, VC, plastic steering wheels…all of it. You got me, Nintendo. I’m your love slave. Spank me and make me wear a dress. But for God’s sake, please understand that you’re really getting annoying these days with your absurd attempts to shut down people who wants to install a crappy Sudoku game, or…oh no….play a REAL LEGAL IMPORT GAME. All the while, the Wii has serious, real problems that actually hinder the entire experience for legitimate, law-abiding customers. I don’t want to know how much money goes into these Homebrew-squashing efforts. I really don’t. It would just make me slam my beanbag in a dresser drawer.

How long have people been asking you, Nintendo, for a solution to your ridiculous half-gig storage? How can you expect people to pay you for games when there’s nowhere to put them? Let alone that it’s just annoying and frankly embarrassing how little storage the console has. Yet, month after month, you pour your valuable resources into trying to squash Homebrew. And what happens? 48 hours later, without fail, EVERY TIME, that attempt is counter-squashed by some kid in a basement. All the while, innocent, uninvolved folks at home are passing up new WiiWare purchases because they don’t fit on their consoles, and you’re not doing anything about it.

And don’t get me started on modchip users. They’re the guys who are burning games and playing pirated copies. Nintendo doesn’t seem too worried about that, though. Nope…let’s spend all our time making sure this guy can’t play a DVD on his Wii, or play his Japanese copy of Crazy Climber.

And that brings me to my final point on this issue: Nintendo’s Hostage Policy. This is really just the best. “You wanna go onto the store and buy new games? You wanna give us your money? Nope…you gotta install our Homebrew squashing update first, suckah!”

…hah….what?!

So lemme get this straight, guys: you are telling me that if I don’t install your Homebrew killer, I can’t PAY YOU to get new games? So in essence, you are giving these people MORE of an incentive to pirate new games they want to play? I’m sorry, what exactly am I missing here? People that already have Homebrew have the know-how to Pirate and are always just a few mouse clicks away. But here they are trying to get on your store to BUY stuff and you tell them no? I will be he first to admit that my business acumen is similar to that of a toddler, but surely this cannot be good for Nintendo.

Please Nintendo, fix your damned console first, and then go after the dastardly, evil Sudoku players and legal DVD watchers and legal Japanese game players.

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2 Responses to Nintendo’s Slapstick Homebrew Battle Makes Us All Suffer

  1. Antonio Manuel says:

    That sucks… That seems to be the way of the gaming industry in general. Screw legitimate consumers in a futile attempt to stop piracy.

    As for the limitations of the Wii, I suspect Nintendo is working on it and it will become available in the form of a new and improved Wii, much like the DS Lite and the DSi. And I bet it will come with moderately upgraded hardware which will ensure that the current Wii is rendered obsolete.

  2. pr0vidence says:

    I feel Nintendo is really letting me down with this. Unfortunately, I don’t think they are very apt to fix the problem, they are more likely to ignore it.

    Also, why not create two new channels, the Virtual Console Channel, and the WiiWare channel. In these channels are a list of the VC/WW games, all of which are stored on your SD card (or an external hard drive). Just encrypt the crap out of it, it’ll be fine! this will serve two purposes. All of my games will be available to me at a moment’s notice, and it will clean up the Wii Menu.

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